The Cold Pit mailbag quickly filled when Robin Miller last week said he’d heard Grand-Am was pursuing the purchase of ALMS.
Having skimmed the best of the questions from the rest, your faithful scribe now turns to answering ‘em So, without further ado …
Q. Rumors are floating around that Grand-Am is interested in buying ALMS but wouldn’t there be a lot of incompatibility between the two series?
A. No. Roger Edmondson and Scott Atherton are grown men, for gosh sakes.
Q. Who asked who first?
A. Shortly after God created Eve, Adam was left feeling all weird inside. Who do you think?
Q. Won’t the ACO be at odds with the Rolex Sports Car Series presented by Crown Royal Cask No. 16?
A. What the heck has the American Cornhole Organization (http://tiny.cc/P7VMW) got to do with sportscar racing!?
Q. What would become of all the ALMS race cars?
A. Which two? Or is it “three?”
Q. Will Acura still be around?
A. Admittedly, domestic car sales have been down but Honda has said absolutely nothing about closing its high-end car line’s dealerships.
Q. What about the ALMS’ Ford GT and Aston Martin? Are they still going to be around?
A. Kevin Doran and Jim Bell recently wondered the same thing even before the “unification” talk began.
Q. And what of the “Green” thing?
A. I doubt NASCAR will ever surrender its belief of nor stop working toward teams making money, not losing it. I mean, really, would Richard Childress be a multi-millionaire today if Jim Hunter and Bill France hadn’t, um, “suggested” he give up driving?
Q. I noticed an IMSA Lites Series stakeholder meeting has been set up for Lime Rock? What are they going to discuss?
A. Gosh, you’ve got me on that one but, then again, I’ve never been really big on holding stakes. Have they got something to do with Cornholing?
Q. What’ll happen to the IMSA Fan Club?
A. They’ll never stop believing that ALMS holds car races or that “IMSA” is the same organization as that founded by John and Peggy Bishop. Faith is a powerful thing, you know.
Q. Will Patrick Dempsey be allowed to race in Grand-Am if Le Mans goes down the tubes?
A. First of all, Dempsey has been racing in Grand-Am events for the last few seasons. It was the American Le Mans Series guys who got all torqued out of shape when Dempsey and usual co-driver/friend Joe Foster dared race at Le Mans. In fact, Dempsey and Foster will be momentarily arriving in Daytona Beach to race their No. 40 El Grado Mazda RX-8 in Saturday’s Brumos 250 at Daytona International Speedway.
Q. What will happen to the Le Mans Series should Grand-Am buy it?
A. Shouldn’t the question be, “What will happen to the American Le Mans Series if Grand-Am doesn’t buy it?”
Q. No, really, so what will happen to the Le Mans Series should Grand-Am actually buy it?
The “American Le Mans Series” is herein under discussion and it pays a name-use fee to a bunch of French guys for using the “Le Mans” thingy found between “American” and “Series.” It’s kinda like someone paying Patrick Dempsey some serious bucks so that he or she could call oneself “Patrick Dempsey” – though I don’t know why a “she” would care to regularly look like she needs a shave … then again … oh, never mind. Formerly a Pontiac, the “Le Mans” name loss, however, is frequently cited as a major underlying cause of car-maker General Motors current financial woes. The Le Mans Series’ future is a question best reserved for the French Guys who actually own the name.
Q. I’ve heard the ALMS rules are more technologically advanced of the two.
A. So, that’s a question? First, the ALMS supposedly uses rules promulgated by the French Guys and claim to present motorcar events under those rules but have sometimes made an exception here or there, as convenience allows or dictates. One fan favorite is the Maserati MC12 that raced but didn’t race. Another was the KERS car that was but wasn’t. There are more, but space and time limitations prevent listing all of ‘em.
Q. So when’s the deal gonna close?
A. Probably never, now that some team owner opened his big mouth.
Later,
DC
Got a chip on your shoulder DC? I know that Grand-Am uses 20 year old technology and turns fans away with bland looking and sounding prototurtles, but crowds are overrated anyways.
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