SPEED, WHAT SPEED?

DAYTONA BEACH – Gawd, what an absurdity.

You get up in the mornin', you hear the ding-dong ring (with thanks to Johnny Rivers), get the coffee a-brewing, rub eyes with balled fists (or extended fingers; depends), whiz, yawn a couple of times while stumbling along the drive in search of a newspaper, reverse course and stumble anew whilst returning to a structure wherein existing are "Honey-Do" demands for acts to be performed whereupon.

Inside again, (where presently in Detroit it is colder inside most houses than outside everywhere in Daytona Beach), finally in hand is a warm coffee cup possessed of wispy steam arising and its bearer headed for a favored morning-time butt holder (whether "chair," "couch" or "throne" being a matter of timing and a highly personal decision, but it being beneath one's butt being universally true . . . unless absent is that particular anatomical feature and, no doubt, an offended someone now reaching for his phone so as to protest this writer's "insensitivity" of those without. But, that's another ramble, altogether saved for the future, whilst still rolling with this one).

Contained still by the slumber from which you had just been loosed are the yelling kiddies, spouses, bosses and those who think themselves Bosses of The World (that is, every other driver on the morning commute) who will yet get their "moments."

It's a beautiful thing, those early day moments of quiet near-perfection.

Yet, deep inside you know it somehow is falling short.

At first struggling to understand the void felt and give it voice, a "EUREKA!" moment then arises.

Quickly grasping one of the most important tools of the modern-age male (archaeological digs millions-of-years in the future will confirm such), a remote control in an instant has set alight a nearby television and SPEEDtv subsequently tuned for the latest word concerning the world of motorsports – a “morning news” having been deemed an important part of nearly every real-time cable channel’s line-up (as distinguished from tape-delayed, scripted "reality" shows, the advertised description of which surely makes proud the likes of Aldous Huxley, George Orwell and Joseph Heller – were they still kicking, that is).

After all, among Tuesday’s hot-topic motorsports banter were the IndyCar Series' Dallara weight-distribution hassles – according to some the chassis apparently having been devised by Rube Goldberg's progeny at the behest of an ICS committee which forgot the car would occasionally race on surfaces other than just road courses.

The open-wheel car's integrated chassis weight having been shifted rearward by committee fiat and the Goldberg-types happily complying, the Dallara reportedly is a road-course dream not-as-wonderful on ovals, upon which IndyCar Series cars either charge ahead famously fast or, elsewise, when "baby got back," seriously rub along walls.

Then, there are the legions of sportscar fans eagerly awaiting news on what will likely prove to be the most competitive GT-class season since last century and while under the sanction of IMSA version 1.x.

Why, on Tuesday alone, at Daytona International Speedway were nine different marques -- Porsche, Ferrari, Viper, Ford, Audi, BMW, Chevrolet, Mazda and Buckler -- begging to differ with those who decried this week's DIS test as "inconsequential."

The January 28-29 GT race within the race? Well, it'll probably be nothing short of spectacular and just as likely to set off a firestorm of mid-Rolex 24 complaints from the faster Daytona Prototype types who expect the GT guys simply to move over whenever in proximity -- plus-or-minus a one-mile radius -- and discounting a proffered GT-position-fight argument as being not at all germane to a DP’s sole right of way.

In fact, such reminds one of some highway drivers all too often seen in a rearview mirror contained within the painted boundaries of a multi-lane highway's farthest-right lane, the following driver absolutely foaming at the mouth because the car immediately ahead is motoring along "too slowly" at the lawful speed limit.

Then, also at the test was the Brazilian driving talent, Filipe Nasr (in No. 58, at left), who came to DIS Tuesday after undertaking a detour journey through Yurrup and winning the Sunoco Challenge along the way. The guy is intelligent, more handsome than Ozz Negri, well mannered and speaks English without apparent trouble. In short: A perfect interview subject. Was “darn fast” omitted? We’re talking lickety split, actually.

Last but not least: Arriving Tuesday at Daytona International Speedway for the first time anywhere in decades was the first official Corvette prototype design to be officially produced by an official Corvette race car producer in the form of four darn-good-looking copies (SDR No. 90; SunTrust No. 10; Action Express Racing's Nos. 5 and 9, the latter pictured way up above and, shown at right, two of its drivers: João Barbosa, left, and Terry Borcheller, middle. The guy barely discernable pictured to Borcheller’s left was widely rumored as Bill Riley, but such remained unconfirmed. Besides, Shank’s new Gen3 Ford DP is supposedly being built this week at the Riley shops).

So, returning to this morning’s real world, what did SPEEDtv offer avid race fans? The chance of acquiring one's very own Personal-Time Gut Trainer, for "three easy installments" of $19.95, plus handling (at another $1,295.99 each, by the way. Yessiree, quite a sales-tax savings there).

Well, at least the morning started with great promise.

Later,

DC