IT’S QnA TIME!

 

The mailbag having again filled, let’s get to it.

Q. ACURA’s new all-around, same-sized prototype tire is really a unique idea, don’t you think?

A. Well, for sure, Michelin ALMS technical team leader Karl Koenigstein thinks highly of the concept, saying in a recent media release, “The new Acuras are the first modern prototypes to knowingly sacrifice some aerodynamic efficiencies to optimize mechanical grip” and that “Michelin races to learn and we are learning a lot this year with this new concept.”

As a result, I’ve seriously considered installing same-sized tires on all of my family members’ daily drivers – but were talking serious cutting-edge technology here and my usual mechanic probably isn’t up-to-speed on the idea as yet. I ain’t even gonna touch the “aerodynamic efficiencies” part.

Q. Speaking of Acura, what’s up with the Lowe’s Fernandez Acura-powered ARX-01B team? It’s not been making much noise recently.

A. First of all, don’t tell U.S.-based LMP purists that an engine was mated to a car chassis that wasn’t really produced by the same manufacturer as that of the engine, or nasty comments are sure to follow.  Speaking directly to the Lowe’s Fernandez team question, at least one of the two current drivers is actively looking for a ride elsewhere in 2010, so he’s making some noise.

Q. Jimmie Johnson was “on” then “off” in a Marcos Ambrose-shared Glen DP ride for the Rolex Series race on Friday Aug. 7. I’m a big Johnson fan and that Ambrose guy just absolutely light’s my Kingsford Charcoal, so I’m disappointed that the deal didn’t come off. What happened?

A. A reigning three-time NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champ who this past Sunday became the first driver to win the Brickyard 400 in back-to-back races, Johnson in 2007 paid $3.98 million for his and Chandra Johnson’s open-plan, three-bedroom, 3,200-square-foot New York City Chelsea-neighborhood condominium for which the pair currently is asking $4.34 million. The doorman-tended building includes a private gym wherein, it is rumored, blue-hairs kept hitting on Mr. Johnson for “dates.” Contact listing agent Lisa Rose of Halstead Property for further information.

Q. Now that the Grand-Am is “a NASCAR Company,” will NASCAR’s ongoing court battle with Kentucky Speedway’s former owners, now being heard by the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, have an adverse effect on the Rolex Sports Car Series?

A. Saying "People have the right to have their case heard in court," Kentucky Speedway’s former owners are continuing their fight to a “right,” not “left” to squeeze millions out of NASCAR – which essentially is claimed not to have played nicely in not handing the track - located in Sparta, Ky., about halfway between The University of Louisville Cardinals and The University of Cincinnati Bearcats - a NASCAR Sprint Cup date even when it reportedly was told prior to construction that it wasn’t likely to get one. The former owners also evidently didn’t think too highly of a lower federal-court’s decision on the suit’s merits when plaintiffs in 2008 were all but laughed out of that court. However, to answer your question directly, the only thing about which Grand-Am might worry is finding time on already crowded court dockets contending with matters which appear to be squeezing out other, less-laughable cases. However, in a new twist reported Thursday by the AP’s Dan Sewell, plaintiffs' attorney, Charles Rule - who ironically headed what some at the time said was a “do-nothing” Justice Department antitrust division under President Ronald Reagan - also claimed current  Kentucky Speedway owner, Speedway Motorsports, is a NASCAR co-conspirator in the matter. Ya just gotta believe Long Beach Grand Prix queso grande Jim Michaelian is gonna be next on that list, followed by the Purple People Eater (the subject of a darn good song done well before the Brothers Frisselle even were a gleam in Brad and Terrye’s eyes).

Q. Okay, enough with the general motorsports stuff. What did SunTrust Racing’s Wayne Taylor - whose two drivers, MaxAxe Angelelli and Brian Frisselle, now are only one point out of first place in the Rolex Series’ DP championship hunt after the penalties - say when the Rolex Series announced the post-Barber Motorsports Park penalties?

A. Just in case the reader hasn’t a clue: In summary, three Rolex Series teams – two DPs and one GT – were determined to have used improper pit-side fueling methods, systems or something along those lines during the July 19 Porsche 250 presented by Legacy Credit Union. After canceling 15-points formerly gained by each at the race’s conclusion, Grand-Am additionally assessed the DP guys $15,000 each - and evidently presumed to have spent twice as much to run their teams as the GT guy, who “only” got a $7,500 fine. By one knowledgeable person’s count there were “at least eight other teams” having escaped the same scrutiny but about which you can bet your sweet bippy the “pucker-up, butter cup” factor subsequently squeezed out a few diamonds in the rough. As a result, it’s also a safe bet the offending teams - caught or not - now will look for other means by which to get fined. I mean, surely everyone has heard of Smokey Yunick and Gary Nelson by now, no?

Oh, yeah, Wayne Taylor: “Anyone need a loan?”

Nah, just kidding, Wayne (or Ricky or Jordan, who are far more likely to read this before their father).  Actually the shrewd MaxAxe, who still has his first nickel, uh, Lira won from Max Papis in their Formula 3 days, was kind enough to offer 150 points, daily, reminding each potential borrower that a “Guido” was responsible for “collections.” (And to those who would wail and gnash teeth over perceived ethnic slight: I know MaxAxe and he’s a friend of mine. Guido says so.)

Q. The Indianapolis Star’s Curt Cavin earlier this week wrote of an IMS road course “exhibition” by NASCAR and Grand-Am. ‘Sup?

A. First, let’s get one thing straightened out right now: Grand-Am is a NASCAR Company. K? There isn’t a NASCAR “and” Grand-Am. It’s kinda like saying there’s an NFL and an AFC. Sure, the AFC hasn’t won as many Super Bowls since its teams, excepting the old NFL teams during odd, even and presidential election years began chasing the title at a time when Joe Willie also wore pantyhose. Or was that a fur coat? Both? Oh, yeh, and shaving cream. Lots and lots of shaving cream. With David Rose’s “The Stripper” as background music. Man, if ever there was an appropriately timed drum beat …

Okay, sorry. Just lost in a moment of nostalgia for a time when testosterone once raced unchecked through my veins, now replaced by Cialis. Such reminding me of Mark Patterson, in fact. The testosterone, that is. The sucker doesn’t need Cialis. it was Aug. 18, two Sprint Cup cars and three, maybe four DPs but don’t book it now, Dan-O.

Later.

DC