FEAR AND LOATHING

LAS VEGAS – Back in Ol' DC's Daytona Beach-area neighborhood is a matte-black Subaru WRX that a grocery store stock boy has driven to work for the better part of two years - a best-guess that Ol' DC's brain neurons can summon, that is.

Given the array of other fixed and electronic devices (translucent license-plate cover; radar detectors - yes, in the plural, arrayed on the dash like a bank of launch controls) the WRX about a year ago transitioned from a lovely shade of blue to a flat-matte finish, presumably in an effort to evade a bouncing of local and state gendarmes' radar and light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation ("LASER") guns. (By the way, whatever happened to "VASCAR?")

Whatever the intent, the WRX guy plainly was ahead of the curve given the flat-matte look so prevalent at SEMA Show v. 2011.

Indeed, given quick retrospection, "prevalent" is an understatement of nearly stellar proportions.

Matte was "in" big time. It was displayed on cars throughout the Las Vegas Convention Center's numerous halls, being displayed by small mom-and-pop car accessory displays to major automakers’ small-superstore-sized showroom footprints.

Running hands and fingers over many of the encountered matte surfaces, Ol' DC walked away with one principal thought: "What will become of Mothers, Maguire and like?"

Is the shine dead? Clear-coating a thing of the past?

Will FuzzBuster fade from the day-to-day battles between scofflaws and law?

To some degree, one is left wondering if the dark, foreboding flat-matte shift is a reflection of a soured economy, just as are long dark skirts (yes, it's true: shorter skirts accompany upbeat economic times and soaring stock markets. Get out there and do your part: buy stocks, bonds and whatever else that may help make legs look longer, sleeker and leave old guys longing for youth's "good ol' days").

Still, colorful rays of hope were seen at SEMA, almost literally.

Beating all to heck what long ago was termed "metallic" colors was what appeared to be, well, "colorized" metal.

Definitely metallic-like in an aluminium foil-like manner, Ford's display contained a red Mustang that was indescribable, as would the above words tend to support. But it sure was beautiful. Likewise, a greenish Camaro over at Chevrolet.

Both were astounding finishes that one best avoid should sun or Klieg lights be bouncing around in the immediate neighborhood. Or maybe not, if carried is a spare pair of welder's glasses.

MATING CALL

Ol' DC, now arising at times before many others even consider going to sleep, was already strolling the Specialty Equipment Manufacturer Association show’s middle part of its 2-million square feet well before others had even arisen. Then again, such is probably expected in Viva Las Vegas.

Suddenly, from the other side of an outside wall near which Ol' DC stood, came the squeal of smoking tires and, from the inside and heeding the clarion call, throngs of guys rushed headlong over each other and through the wall's doors, braving the brash morning Las Vegas sunshine.

Created by some fire-breathing Corvettes courtesy of Chevrolet, a line100-people deep soon formed, each hoping for an under-12-second, 1-lap ride around a parking-lot slalom course.

It was a well-oiled drill, for sure, Chevrolet's folks managing to smile each time the whole time, as hundreds of folks were herded through the drill like, well, cattle being led to you-know-where.

In the end, proved was one thing: put loud throaty sounding, rubber-peeling cars and scantily clad wimmin in one place at the same time and guys will either salivate to death or die trying to be the first in line for a spin, even if it hardly gives anyone time to pee one's pants.

Indeed, so numerous were the eye-candy, scantily dressed wimmin that even Neanderthal types must've figured they had a better-than-even chance of scoring, given the misinterpreted wimmin otherwise seen smiling at guys that even female-sized beer goggles wouldn't have countered elsewhere.

Here's a clue guys: The SEMA eye-candy wimmin are paid to: 1. Look good, 2. Smile, and 3. Look like they're actually interested in whatever you say.

HANGING AT CONTINENTAL, BOOTH 43425

At the Continental Tires display were Patrick Dempsey Racing's No. 40 Mazda RX-8, dazzlingly shiny in its "Florida" livery, and the No. 01 TELMEX/Target BMW-Riley Rolex 24 lookalike car complete with Scott Pruett, Memo Rojas, Graham Rahal and Joey Hand's names atop the doors.

Standing off to one side and observing for about 30-minutes, nice to see were the number of people - male and female alike - who looked inside the shiny car, walked around it, knelt and stood alongside it (despite the flat-matte show theme) for portraits taken by camera-wielding friends.

A SPONSOR PARADISE?

SEMA's gathering of every (or doggone close to "every") automotive, truck, desert, deep woods and related accessory manufacturers just seems to be the perfect place to knock on doors for sponsorships.

Why, even Turner (Motorsports) had a prominent location with their championship-winning Rolex Series BMW parked within.

One hears Turner's already committed its sponsorship dollars, leaving, oh, perhaps a few thousand other exhibitors needing, wanting exposure.

Yet, awaiting a sponsorship just to up and jump into an awaiting lap are nearly every racer who complains they can't find sponsors.

Later,

DC