ROAD TO RECOVERY, Duex

Should the reader be otherwise divorced of shocking, damn-near unbelievable motorsport news: A.J. Allmendinger has been nailed for having in some manner violated NASCAR's Substance Abuse Policy.

Before someone starts with the "crystal meth" stuff, someone else hollers back "crack" or still some other person goes ape with "Δ9-THC!" please take the time to consider that NASCAR's Substance Abuse Policy isn't quite as simple as Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No!" because there easily exists more than a few ways one can violate the "policy."

Otherwise, exactly why, pray tell, does one need to explain "Just Say No!" using roughly 6,000 words?

Yep, six big ones.

THE FACTS, JACK

An otherwise unannounced "bodily fluids" sample was taken at random from Allmendinger (and, by inferred practice, four additional drivers, 10 crewmembers and five NASCAR Sprint Cup Series officials) while NASCAR was hanging at Kentucky Speedway (June 30, give or take).

The generally accepted sampling procedure includes capturing a sufficient bodily fluid quantity so as to enable a second test if demanded by a believed policy violator.

About one week later at Daytona International Speedway, NASCAR competition vice-president Steven O'Donnell told those who would tell the world of Allmendinger's failed test and NASCAR's rendering an immediate "temporary" 72-hour suspension.

The suspected substance abuser can within that time period ("three days," Menendez) exercise a number of options, including the aforementioned secondary test (not "retest"), to executing an admission agreement and entering into treatment, Aegis Sciences Corporation "Road to Recovery," which NASCAR's Substance Abuse Policy states as being "tailored to the needs" of the inculpated ("accused" seems, well, "damning," no?). All things considered, Hosni Mubarak is more likely to reemerge as Egypt's leader than will the original test results be overturned.

One supposes also available to Allmendinger is his letting rip a rendition of a particular Johnny Paycheck song, though doubtful would be its execution given the sheer weight of involved money, reputations and that prima facie evidence -- Jeremy Mayfield -- points to futility in successfully fighting a NASCAR suspension, especially given that Mayfield's fight has succeeded to the equal extent of tossing across a room NASCAR's Mike Helton.

EXCUSE ME, BUT WHERE AM I?

Who on God's Green Earth hasn't seen "Vacation," the 1983 National Lampoon masterpiece starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid and "Aunt Edna" (Imogene Coca)?

Still, somewhere along the "Griswold" family's journey to fictional Walley World, patriarch "Clark" (Chase) makes the first of many seriously wrong turns into a ghetto, within moments changing a fresh-off-a-dealer-lot "Family Truckster" automobile into an everyday graffiti-riddled, hubcap-less ghetto chariot.

The incident merely served as an introduction to many more, um, uncomfortable moments to come inasmuch as announced on the eve of his 72-hour response period's end -- and probably not before tens-of-thousands in attorney fees were already spent -- was Allmendinger's desire to have the second sample tested. Allmendinger was described as "dumfounded" and "shell-shocked" in the aftermath of NASCAR's action, Allmendinger's business manager, Tara Ragan, told the AP's Jenna Fryer late Monday.

"Vacation" kinda reminds of where Allmendinger is now; somewhere between the ghetto gangstas and the, er, "enhanced" Truckster's return to earth after later launching from an asphalt highway's abrupt termination.

For sure, the Griswold car's axle-bending, suspension twisting impact wasn't the end of their "adventure" any more than the end of this week -- presumably when the B-sample results are made available -- will close Allmendinger's woes. The sad part about the comparison of the two is that "Vacation" was fictional but Allmendinger's is a bad, bad dream to which he'll repeatedly awaken in the real world for an indeterminate time – one that’ll time and again feel like an eternity to he and those around him.

And before Allmendinger's blind-faith defenders get in a wad, there really is a moment in time when it's best to accept reality and move along -- which Allmendinger is hopefully doing while the second test is being undertaken in the lab.

If played correctly, Allmendinger's exercise of the second-test option will allow a fuller exploration of his options and, most importantly, a cooling of emotions because that initial three-day "temporary suspension" period hardly affords sufficient time to catch one's breath when life itself has suddenly jumped from one lane to another quicker than a race car heading northeast at full-tilt-boogie on Daytona International Speedway's SuperStretch.

POLICY MATTERS

Section 19 of NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 2012 Rule Book is the part dealing with substance abuse and tells its readers a number of things over its nearly 10 pages of figurative and literal "fine print." (By the way: "Grand-Am Substance Abuse Policy 2012" is found here.)

Sub-section 19-3 defines those who are subject to the policy, stating that, "Although this Policy is intended to apply principally to drivers, mechanics and crew members (hereinafter 'Competitor' or 'Competitors') as well as NASCAR Officials as determined by NASCAR … all other NASCAR Members are required to adhere to NASCAR's Substance Abuse Policy and are subject to reasonable suspicion testing . . ." (italics added). In short: Those who hold NASCAR hard cards beware.

Add to the above Section 19-3A, which adds that "NASCAR will regularly test any Competitor or Official whose performance at a NASCAR Event potentially affects the safety of themselves, other NASCAR Members, spectators and guests, including but not limited to: NASCAR Officials and Competitors . . ."

More or less continuing the theme is Section 19-3-B, but which slightly switches gears and provides for "the testing of those competitors ". . . whose use of illegal or performance enhancing drugs (PED) or substances could alter or enhance . . ." a competitors ability " . . . to create an unfair advantage or impact the integrity . . ." of the competition. (italics added)

Well, given the inclusion of not necessarily illegal "performance enhancing drugs," there goes the steroids or, perhaps, available-almost-everywhere milk thistle. Really. Milk thistle is a herbal product touted, among 23,437 other things, as “enhancing brain function.”

How can NASCAR ban an otherwise licit substance along with the illicit or, for that matter, any substance at all?

On the simplest level -- the one at which are found those whose life goal is to damn any capitalistic enterprise for any number of reasons -- because NASCAR allows itself sufficient latitude to do as it will so as to protect and defend the "franchise."

Oh, NASCAR will at times use the term "stakeholder," here, or "stakeholders," (the plural form, Menendez) there, but it's "the business" as a whole that is and should be getting protected.

"Stakeholder," though, has a stuffy feeling to it when the folks who have an interest in NASCAR's success go well beyond just Richard Childress, Jack Roush, Coach Gibbs or the capitalist's capitalist, Roger Penske.

All things considered, NASCAR not only has the right but responsibility to protect its business because of the tens-of-thousands, if not hundreds-of-thousands and, probably, millions of people dependent on those cars making left turns at the sanctioning body’s points-paying races each year.

Yes, the Family France makes money. Good money at that. But so, too, do a lot of others: hoteliers, restaurateurs, the grocery stores who supply food for those who wish not to eat at the restaurants, or the campground owners who cater to those who like to "rough it" in $250,000 RVs purchased from some dealer somewhere and built by men and women who, in turn, wish to attend the very same race as that made possible by the expertise of the Family France.

The whole gig is one seriously huge circle and one guy shouldn't be allowed to screw it up.

Now, such is not to say that Allmendinger has attempted to do so, consciously or subconsciously; whether with malice and forethought or entirely absent of malice and having no forethought of anything other than showing up and racing.

However, there are a whole bunch of folks who, after having recklessly caused a life-ending accident, invariably will say, "I didn't mean to" or "I didn't know . . ."

Those words, however true -- and they certainly can be -- or sorrow filled and deeply felt, have ever repaired damage incurred before having been said.

Maybe NASCAR is wrong here . . . but maybe it isn't.

Those who aren't disposed of finding conspiracies around every corner will likely think it altogether doubtful that someone within NASCAR or its "drug police" awoke on or about Saturday, June 30, and said, "Let's take out A.J., today! He's such a likeable guy!"

In the end, NASCAR is trying its best to do the right thing. In the end, all will work out if those with good intentions -- and, thankfully, there are many in this world having such -- will focus on doing the right thing by helping those who not only need help, but who sincerely want that help.

Remember: May he who has never missed a shift cast the first transmission.

Later,

DC